Category: Humour

I came in just now, out of the burning heat, and there was a leaflet on my doorstep.  It was from the Jehovah’s Witnesses, and titled “How will you deal with the end of the world?” or something like that.

Sad person that I am, the only thought that entered my heat-addled brain was “get better air-conditioning.”

No sleep for two days now.  It’s been 27C in my hotel room the last two nights; no air-con, no ventilation.  No refunds either.

In Hellsdump House, the office in which I attempt to work while awaiting the chop at the end of the month, the only portion that is air-conditioned is the director’s offices.  Temperatures in the office reached 27.2C.  People collapsed, fainted, wore beach wear or ran up and down with their underpants on their heads, shrieking.  Actually I made the last bit up.  Most people just slumped at their terminals.  I just sat there, giggling (not from the heat, but because I had found this site), and being avoided by everyone else.

Hope I’m more coherent than I feel.  Sleep-deprivation is weird.  Cooler this morning. Who knows, I may get some sleep tonight.

We all hate going to work on Mondays, but in a way most of us are fortunate.  For example, on the way in to work today, I passed a van labelled “Sparkles mobile dog wash.” 

Just imagine what that job must involve.  It’s a job which means driving all over the place to wash dirty dogs.  Imagine leaning over the tub, bog-brush in hand, trying to clean the backside of some unfamiliar poodle, while the vicious little bugger tries to bite you.  “Look, he likes you!” squeals the silly owner, as you wrestle with her rottweiler, trying not to lose any fingers.

It makes you wonder what kind of alternatives the school careers advice were suggesting to him.

On the positive side, he must be the only man for whom an armoured cod-piece is a legitimate tax-deductible expense.